They walked silently toward the entrance to the
school where all gathered for their outing. Sirius struggled to
find something to say, but everything he could think of sounded
inane to his mind’s ears. Luckily for him, Mariah broke the awkward
silence herself.
“So.” Pause. “How was your week?”
“Pretty good.” Another pause. “How was
yours?”
“Fine.”
They reached the group gathered at the front
gates. When Mariah turned to wave at some of her Hufflepuff
friends, Sirius stole a glance over to where James and the rest of
his friends were standing. James offered him a double “thumbs up”
while Peter began kissing the air. Remus, of course, tried
unsuccessfully to shush them. Sirius gave them a glare for good
measure.
Mariah turned in the direction of the
Gryffindors, who thankfully ceased their ridiculous motions when her
glance came their way. “I must say I’m surprised that you didn’t
bring your friends with you this morning. I almost never see you
without them.”
“Well, they are my best friends. But today
isn’t for them. The last thing I need when I’m trying to woo a girl
is for James Potter to distract her.” Or to make teasing comments
all afternoon, he thought. “I too am glad that came alone.”
“I promised you a fair chance, didn’t I?”
Sirius nodded. The group began to migrate down
the path toward Hogsmeade and their conversation dimmed again. What
was wrong with him? Sirius Black wasn’t the nervous type. Why did
he find himself tongue-tied around this girl? Desperate to avoid
coming across as boring, he said the first thing he could think of.
“So, who do you think will win the Quidditch
Cup this year?”
She gave him a funny look. “Well, unless
Ravenclaw manages a minor miracle, I’d say Gryffindor’s probably got
it clinched.”
Only then did Sirius realize he’d probably just
brought up a very touchy subject, the Hufflepuff Quidditch team
being as unbelievably bad as it was. He tried to assuage the
situation. “Oh, I don’t know, there’s still several months, plenty
of time for Hufflepuff to make a comeback.”
“Sirius, have you been watching the same games
I have? Because much as I love my House, our Quidditch team
stinks.” Mariah looked rather annoyed.
There was no good answer to that. If he
disagreed, he’d be lying, but to agree would be unnecessarily
cruel. He decided then to take the only option available – he’d
change the subject.
“Isn’t Professor Binns the most boring teacher
ever?”
Mariah nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, I sleep
through the majority of his classes.”
“Me too.” Uh oh. Not much more to say on that
subject. They lapsed into silence and continued walking.
Occasionally one or the other of them broke the
uncomfortable quiet with a question or a comment, but rarely did the
resulting conversation last more than three responses. By the time
they arrived in Hogsmeade, he knew that Mariah hailed from Brighton
and had a younger sister, Clary, who would start Hogwarts in the
fall. He’d avoided revealing too much about his own unpleasant
family situation but had admitted to being from London and having an
older brother with whom he didn’t get along.
“Shall we get a drink,” asked Sirius as they
walked down the main street. “Do you like butterbeer?”
“Yes, that would be nice,” replied Mariah, so
they set off for The Three Broomsticks.
Many of the students were of like mind, so most
of the tables were already claimed when they arrived. Sirius
scanned the crowd, looking for an appropriately secluded table. He
stifled a smirk when he saw Snivellus sitting by himself in a far
corner. He nearly decided to lead Mariah toward a table near the
Slytherin git when he realized that forcing a confrontation was
hardly going to endear Mariah to him. He glanced at her. She’d
also seen Snape, and was looking in his direction with a frown.
“There’s a free table over there, let’s grab it
before anyone else comes in.” He maneuvered her away from Snape’s
direction toward a table near the window. They sat down silently.
Mariah looked around the room, apparently surveying who was in
attendance, before turning her attention back to him.
Again Sirius struggled to think of something to
say. “So, what kind of music do you listen to?” Surely that would
be a safe topic.
“I’m not too picky about it,” she responded.
“Darby likes listening to muggle pop so that’s what I listen to the
most, I suppose.”
“Cool,” replied Sirius, though he was thinking
that he knew nothing of muggle pop, least of all whether it was
cool. “My favorite band is Four Warlocks From Dublin.”
“I don’t know them, sorry.”
They sat quietly for a few moments, then Madame
Rosmerta appeared to take their order. After they each ordered a
butterbeer, Sirius tried again. “What do you like to do, for fun I
mean.”
Mariah thought a moment. “Nothing too
exciting, I think. Reading, dancing, things like that. Oh, and
growing things. I’ve got several exotic flowers growing in my
room.”
“Cool,” nodded Sirius again, thinking that
Herbology was probably the second most boring subject they took
after History of Magic.
“What about you?” prodded Mariah.
“I like Quidditch, of course, and swimming when
the lake is warm enough. I suppose you do a lot of swimming in the
summer, living in Brighton.”
“A little,” she replied, “Silas and I go to the
beach sometimes, but it stopped being as much fun when I started
having to bring Clary along. It’s hard to have fun while you’re
trying to keep a little kid out of trouble.”
“I’m sure,” Sirius didn’t have a younger
sibling so he couldn’t relate, but to him it would have been nice to
have a younger sister to play with, assuming she was more like him
and less like his brother Regulus.
Their drinks arrived and for a few moments they
drank silently. Mariah was staring a little off his left shoulder.
Sirius wanted to turn to see what she was looking at, but that would
have been too obvious. Instead, he racked his brain for yet another
topic of conversation.
Mariah fought the urge to look at the clock.
She couldn’t remember the last time she’d spent such a tedious
afternoon outside of the classroom. She had to give Sirius credit,
he was being very polite and not at all leering or creepy but he was
just . . . boring. She almost felt sorry for his pitiful attempts
to make conversation, but since he brought this whole thing on
himself, she only had a little sympathy to spare.
She looked around the room as she sipped her
butterbeer and smiled to herself as Silas walked in with a small
crowd of older kids. She’d give him hell later for suggesting she
submit to this torture. She watched as Silas approached a table a
little ways behind Sirius. An older Ravenclaw girl who Mariah
didn’t know was already sitting there. Mariah watched as the girl
smiled when Silas sat down across from her. They were too far away
for Mariah to hear their conversation but she could definitely see a
lot of smiling going on.
Did Silas have a new girlfriend? If so, why
didn’t he tell her? After all she herself had confided to him the
least he could do is reciprocate. Mariah took another swig of her
butterbeer and nodded in response to whatever inane comment Sirius
had just made. She assessed the girl sitting so cozily with her
friend. She had very long, straight black hair and wore too much
makeup, decided Mariah. And way too skinny. Silas would look
ridiculous dancing with her, she’d probably snap if he squeezed too
hard.
“Mariah?” Sirius was trying to get her
attention. Damn, what was she thinking?
“Sorry, I was daydreaming. What did you say?”
“I asked if you wanted me to get you another
drink,” repeated Sirius.
“Oh, sure, thanks.” Sirius rose to get the
drinks, freeing Mariah to continue her assessment of the sight
before her. The girl threw her head back as she laughed at
something Silas said. I’m sure it wasn’t that funny, she
thought. The girl is obviously trying to impress him. Oh, if only
she could hear what they were saying. Now Silas was laughing
too. Why hadn’t he told her? Mariah felt herself fill with
annoyance at his betrayal. She’d thought they had the kind of
friendship where they could tell each other everything but
apparently it only worked one way. She glared over at her friend
and his simpering idiot of a date. Except that she probably wasn’t
an idiot, was she? Few Ravenclaws were, after all. Was this the
girl who had gone with someone else to the Yule Ball, the girl who’d
already found a date when Silas asked her? Had she tired of her
first choice already, or had the other boy tired of her?
Either way, she wasn’t good enough for Silas. Mariah vowed to ask
one of her Ravenclaw friends what she knew of the girl later.
Sirius returned with the drinks. Mariah forced
herself to return her attention to her date. She’d promised to give
him a fair opportunity, and she was, but they obviously had nothing
in common. Hopefully he’d realize that soon.
The two fourth-years drank their next
butterbeer over stilted conversation. Sirius’ attempts were valiant
to be sure but Mariah’s attention was very much elsewhere. She knew
she answered appropriately and when necessary but she fervently
wished it would end soon. She was only half aware of what she and
Sirius were discussing, as she was far more focused on other goings
on.
Silas stood, and held out his hand to his
companion, who accepted it as she stood. Mariah averted her head at
the sight and found herself looking toward the far corner of the
room where Severus still sat, alone. He was reading a book, back
turned to the room. Oh yes, thought Mariah with a sneer, Severus
was too good for the rest of them.
As if he heard her thoughts, Severus put his
book down and turned in her direction. He returned her gaze with
the most evil of looks. What was his problem? Part of her wanted
nothing more to do with him, but the part of her that liked him
wanted to understand what was wrong with her, to make him hate her
so much.
“It’s not working, is it?”
Mariah’s head snapped back to her date.
“What?”
“You. Me. It’s not working. You don’t even
have to tell me.” Sirius stared intensely at her. “It’s pretty
obvious that we really don’t have anything to say to each other.”
“I’m sorry, I did try, you know.” Now that
she’d gotten what she wanted, she felt slightly chagrined at the
downcast look on her companion’s face.
“I know. It’s kind of funny, actually. I’ve
spent the last five months or so completely obsessed with you, and
now, in just one afternoon, I find I’ve been completely deluding
myself this whole time.” He sighed. “James was right, after all.”
“James?” Mariah was confused, and more than a
little bit offended by his words. “What did James have to do with
this?”
“He thought that the only reason I wanted you
was because Snivellus, I mean Snape, had you. That I never would
have liked you otherwise.”
Mariah stared at him in shock. It took several
seconds to control her anger enough to respond. “How wonderful to
know that I don’t meet with the amazing James Potter’s standards!.
Why was it so unthinkable that you might like me? Am I that
repulsive?”
“Of course not,” soothed Sirius. “I guess it
was that you aren’t my usual type is all.”
“And what type would that be,” sneered Mariah.
“Beautiful face, perfect body, am I getting close here?”
Sirius had the good sense to look embarrassed.
“Something like that. Look, I really am sorry. I certainly never
meant to hurt you, and I really am sorry that things didn’t work out
between us.”
“Well, that makes one of us,” snapped Mariah.
She took a deep breath to calm herself. “Look, maybe it would be
best if we forgot any of this ever happened. You go back to your
life, and I’ll go back to mine.”
“All right,” Sirius sighed. He took her hand.
Mariah fought the urge to pull away. “I really am sorry, Mariah.”
She looked back at him, sensing that he
genuinely was sorry. It didn’t excuse his being a total arse, but
the thought counted for something. “Apology accepted. I’m sure you
won’t mind if I leave now.”
“Will you be all right walking back yourself?”
“I’ll be fine. I’ll just meet up with my
friends.” She stood. “Goodbye, Sirius.”
“Goodbye, Mariah.”
Mariah turned toward the door, her eyes resting
on Severus, who was now standing by the door. He’d been watching
their little spat, they must have been quite loud. His disdainful
gaze had turned into a scornfully delighted one – he’d witnessed her
humiliation and had apparently enjoyed it immensely. She stormed
over to him.
“I see Black has finally come to his senses and
seen you for what you are. I never would have credited him with so
much sense.”
“What is your problem?” she hissed. “What did
I ever do to you?”
Severus’ lip curled as he looked down on her.
“You exist.”
Mariah gasped. “You are truly sick, Severus.
It’s no wonder you don’t have any friends.” She pushed past him and
ran out of the pub. She ran past the crowd of students standing
outside, not noticing who she ignored. She was overwhelmed with the
rejection of the day. She ran down the street and into the park.
She’d lied to Sirius, she had no intention of seeking out her
friends. Right now, she wanted to be alone.
She found a solitary tree and threw herself
underneath it, curling into a ball and sobbing. There must really
be something wrong with her. It had taken little more than an hour
of her company for Sirius to lose interest; that must be a record,
even for him. And his friend had thought he was crazy for wanting
her in the first place! Even Severus Snape, arguably one of the
least liked students at Hogwarts, was disgusted by her. And Silas…
She opened her eyes, feeling a hand on her
shoulder. Speak of the devil. Silas was kneeling beside her,
looking concerned. “What do you want,” she snapped through her sobs
as she pulled away.
He didn’t let her go. “Easy, ‘Riah, I just want
to know what’s wrong. Why do I keep finding you this way?”
“Please don’t feel obligated to bother yourself
on my account,” she sniffed. “I’m sure your new girlfriend wouldn’t
appreciate it anyway.”
“Girlfriend?” Silas was incredulous. “What
girlfriend?”
“Don’t deny it, Silas, I saw you together! It
doesn’t matter, I mean, I don’t know why I thought you’d tell me
anyway, it’s not like we’ve known each other all our lives or
anything. And why should I care whether you’ve got a girlfriend
anyway…”
“Wait a minute,” Silas grabbed her chin and
turned her to face him. “Mariah, what girlfriend? I really don’t
know what you’re talking about.”
Mariah couldn’t believe would still dare deny
it. “Silas, I saw you, at The Three Broomsticks, laughing and
holding hands with some Ravenclaw not a half hour ago. Are you
trying to tell me I’m imagining things?”
“No,” replied Silas slowly, “not imagining
things, although definitely misinterpreting them. Mariah, Delilah
is not my girlfriend. We’re just friends.”
“Just friends?” asked Mariah suspiciously. “Do
friends usually hold hands the way you two were?”
“Mariah, did you fail to notice that she walks
with a rather sizeable limp? Of course I helped her out of her seat.
I’d do the same for anyone. She’s just a friend, Mariah.” Silas’
expression was earnest, and he seemed almost desperate that she
believe him.
“Oh.” Mariah gulped, feeling rather chastised
and silly. “Ok, I’m rather embarrassed now.”
“Were you crying because you thought I had a
girlfriend,” Silas asked incredulously.
“No. Yes. Well, only partially.” She broke
down, telling him of the multiple rejections she’d received that day
and how hurt she’d felt when she thought he’d gone and found a
girlfriend without telling her.
“So let’s take a count, shall we? Not only am
I not good enough for Sirius Black or James Potter, I’m even
rejected by Severus Snape, even though I’m probably the only friend
he ever had,” she sobbed. “What is wrong with me?”
“They’re just a bunch of idiots, ‘Riah, you
don’t need them,” soothed Silas as he held her, smoothing her hair.
“You’re just saying that. Please, Silas, I
want to know. What is so wrong with me? Why can no one
like me for who I am?”
“I like you,” answered Silas simply.
Mariah sighed, thinking he didn’t understand
her. “That’s not what I meant. You don’t count, Silas, you’re
practically my brother, you have to like me. I meant really like
me.”
“No,” he replied forcefully, sitting her up to
face him. “I am not practically your brother, I don’t
have to like you but I do like you. Very much,
actually.” He held her gaze as if waiting for her reply.
“You do? Since when?” Mariah’s suspicion beat
its way through the fluttering feeling that had appeared in her
stomach with his words. Where did that come from?
“Oh, since pretty much forever,” he replied,
wrapping her in his arms and pulling her close. “Do you mind
terribly? Should I not have told you?”
Mariah tried to ignore the fluttering so she
could think. Silas liked her? She’d never really considered that
possibility, despite Sirius Black’s assessment earlier that week.
Silas certainly was one of her closest friends. But could he be
more? Maybe he wasn’t all that good looking, but she didn’t really
care about that. He had a nice smile, and was gentle and strong and
a good dancer, and they certainly never suffered from awkwardness or
a lack of things to talk about. He did have that way of making her
feel safe. Was that enough? Mariah remembered her reaction to
Delilah, the Ravenclaw girl; was it all betrayal that he hadn’t told
her, or was she actually jealous? Maybe she was, she really wasn’t
sure. Silas was still watching her, waiting for her answer. What
the heck? The possibility was certainly worth investigating.
She smiled back at him finally. “No, I don’t
think I do mind, actually. But I don’t understand.” She pulled
back a little. “If you liked me, why did you tell me to go out with
Sirius Black? And you told me you’d wanted to go to the Yule Ball
with someone else?”
“Questions, questions,” he murmured. “I thought
there was little chance you’d change your mind about Black, and I
really did think that you’d both realize quickly that you weren’t
suited. It was a gamble, true, but the odds were in my favor. And
as for the Yule Ball, you’re the only one I wanted to go with.”
“But you said…”
“Not what you think I said. I said the girl I
wanted to ask had gone and found her own date. And you did, didn’t
you?” Silas was holding her again and planting kisses in her hair.
Mariah was finding it hard to concentrate on
her objections as she became more enveloped in his arms and warmed
by his soft kisses. New as the idea of a boyfriend-Silas was, she
thought she might get used to it. “Sneaky, weren’t you.”
“Yep. Very sneaky. So,” more soft kisses.
“what do you say to giving us a chance? Same terms as you had with
Black, if you decide you don’t want to see me any more I’ll leave
you alone.”
“That sounds reasonable,” she agreed, turning
her head up to his. “But who will hex you in your sleep if you
break your word?”
“I don’t think it’s going to come to that, do
you?” He leaned a little closer, their lips almost touching.
“Nah, probably not.” And then they were
together. “Mmm… definitely not.”