The Joys of Herbology - Chapter One

Predictably, Snape was the last student to arrive at the greenhouse.  As he surveyed the room he noted two empty seats:  one next to a Hufflepuff boy whose name he did not recall and one next to Mariah.  She was turned around in her seat, facing the door as if looking for him.  Snape avoided her eyes and took the other empty seat.  He just loved being perverse. 

Professor Samling arrived, a bundle of excitement, with a small box in his hands.  He pranced up to the podium and set the box down.

“Good Morning!  I trust you all had a pleasant weekend and are excited to discover what you’ll be spending your time on for the next several months.”

The respondent groans informed him they were nothing of the sort.

Not to be deterred, the Professor shook his head, “Tut-tut, we’ll have none of that.  It’s time to partner up.  Your current seating arrangements indicate that most of you are NOT sitting with your partners.   Slytherins, stand up please!”

Half the class half-heartedly rose, their bored expressions gazing forth.

“Go stand next to your partner.  If you do not yet have a partner, come to the front of the room.”

The students started moving about.  Snape reluctantly walked over to stand behind Mariah’s chair, then turned to the front.  He gasped aloud, for every single Slytherin other than himself was standing at the front of the room!

Bloody shite, Severus thought as he felt his face redden uncontrollably.  So much for being spared the humiliation of being partnered by the Professor:   I’ll NEVER hear the end of this!

Already many of the students were giggling and whispering about the unlikely pair that had taken the initiative to partner up.  Even Professor Samling wore a sizeable grin.

“Well now, I see we have but one lone Hufflepuff and one sole Slytherin willing to associate with each other, even with the threat of lost points.  Miss Grougher, ten points to Hufflepuff.  Mister Snape, ten points to Slytherin.”

Samling retrieved his box and walked over to Mariah and Severus.  “Additionally, I will let the two of you choose your project now and leave class early to discuss it.   The rest of you lot will remain here to be partnered.  And I PROMISE you will not approve of my selections.  You will soon wish you had followed Miss Grougher and Mister Snape’s example.”

He held the box out in front of Mariah.  The box was covered, however the lid had an opening large enough for a small hand.  Mariah reached into the box and pulled out a scroll. 

Professor Samling smiled, “I trust you chose a good project, I expect great things from the two of you.  You’re both dismissed.”  He returned to the front of the room, box in hand.  “Now as to the rest of you lot…”

Mariah looked at Severus apologetically and received a glare for her trouble.  Snape turned on his heels and stormed out.  Mariah chased after him, however Snape’s longer legs and determined stride made it difficult for her to keep up.  She was forced to break into a run to catch him.

“Severus!  Don’t you want to see what our project is?” she panted as she struggled to match his pace.

“NO!” He snarled without looking at her, still trying to outrun her.  “Just leave me alone!”

Mariah stopped running and called out after him, “We’ll have to discuss it sometime…”

But Snape was not thinking about sometime, he was thinking that right now the last thing he wanted was to be anywhere near that girl.  He navigated the hallways and headed straight for the Slytherin dormitories. 

He already foresaw what would happen.  His lack of foresight in volunteering to pair with that Hufflepuff would result in countless rumors, most of which involving a romantic involvement between the two of them.  Why had he been so foolish?  He’d avoided losing House points but knew he’d insured a worse fate. 

“Festering abscess,” he snapped as he reached the painting guarding the Slytherin Common Room.  The door opened and he rushed inside, past a group of bewildered first years playing exploding snap, and up the stairs to his room.

Snape began pacing the room with clenched fists, then grabbed the pillow off his bed so he’d have something to beat on.  He was wrestling with the knowledge that he had no choice but to associate with her for the next few months in order to insure a satisfactory herbology grade, but now every meeting they had would be a suspected tryst.  He strove to devise a scenario that would allow him to avoid this disastrous consequence but nothing came to mind.

After several minutes of these mental gymnastics he threw himself down on the bed in exhaustion.  There was nothing else to do except be as utterly nasty to the girl as possible.  If he treated her abominably, people would eventually realize that there was nothing going on.  This wouldn’t be difficult at all, since Snape rarely had difficulty being nasty to people.  It was her own damned fault, after all, for asking him to work with her in the first place. 

Snape fell asleep, knowing he’d found the answer.

Snape woke with a start as he realized that the objects hitting his head were not the hailstones of his dream but his roommate’s wadded-up socks.

“Dinner time, Snape… you don’t want to miss seeing your new girlfriend, now do you?” Xavier Winslow was a pock-faced blond boy with bad teeth and a worse attitude. His cruel disposition was only outmatched by his complete inability to create an individual opinion. Snape knew that Winslow must be recycling comments made by other Slytherins after today’s Herbology class, since he was incapable of generating his own.

“Too right, Winslow. I have plans for that one.” Snape responded enigmatically. That ought to keep him busy for at least ten minutes, he thought as he left the room.

As expected jeers and smirks met him as he passed through the Common Room and through the castle corridors. Each Slytherin he encountered took notice of his usually unnotable presence, and produced either a wink or a jibe. He met these with a knowing grin and continued walking.

Curiously, the reaction seemed limited to the Slytherin population. None of the Hufflepuffs he encountered made any attempt to interact with him, and certainly the Ravenclaws paid him no mind. He entered the Great Hall and beelined for his usual spot at the far end of the Slytherin table, exhibiting no response to the cat-calls and shouts of “Snape the Slytherin Stud” that followed him. Once seated though, he realized he’d made a tactical error: his seat faced the center of the Great Hall, towards the other House tables, rather than towards the wall. So he found himself facing Mariah and her friends at the next table, and behind them, his nemesis Sirius Black and his entourage.

Black, who had one fewer eye than the last time Snape had seen him, was observing Snape with interest, having heard Snape being referred to in a rather unusual manner. He noticed Snape’s eyes resting on Mariah, then raising to meet his own. Black’s mouth broke into a sinister grin, which silently shouted, “Oh yes, I have you now!”

Snape returned his gaze defiantly and then turned his attention to his meal. He carefully kept his eyes on his plate, or firmly on members of his own House (who mercifully were now discussing the upcoming Quidditch match against Ravenclaw rather than his peccadillos). He ate rather more quickly than was his normal habit (although he rarely ate much as it were) and rose to leave.

Oh horror of horrors, he thought. Mariah stood right after he did and headed right for him. Was she completely daft, or was she doing this for fun? He saw no viable way to avoid her, since fleeing would not help his reputation any, so he stared her down as she approached.

“Severus! Thank heavens you’ve finally finished your dinner. You won’t believe what our project is! I’d hoped for something interesting but this far exceeds my expectations! Come with me to the library so I can show you-“

Snape cut her off, sneering loudly to ensure he was overheard by most of his House. “I told you, Hufflepuff, that I would summon you when I required your presence. As I recall, I have not yet done so. Good evening.” With that, he pushed past her and left the room.

Mariah stared after him, agog and agape. Then she burst out laughing, almost uncontrollably. Several of her friends came over, her roommate Julia put an arm around her shoulder as if to comfort her, but she shrugged them off and just continued laughing as she too left the hall. “As I recall, I have not yet summoned you…how hilarious…” The scene amused her all the way back to her dormitory.

She returned to her room just in time to see an owl drop a note on her bed and flee out the window. Mariah sat on the corner of her bed, unfolded the note, and began to read.

“Ms. Grougher,

If we are to avoid further histrionics then you will need to learn some discretion. Although in Hufflepuff it may be commonplace to say anything anywhere, that is not the case in Slytherin and for obvious reasons it would be best were we to interact away from the public eye for the time being. I acknowledge the need to discuss the herbology project about which you appear to possess unlimited enthusiasm, therefore I will meet you tomorrow a half hour before breakfast outside the greenhouse.
S. Snape

P.S. Do not accost me during meals again.”

He never ceases to amaze me, thought Mariah. What a self-righteous git. He obviously doesn’t realize that meeting in the open will cause the speculation to die down quicker, but I’ll play the game his way for now. I can’t wait til someone discovers one of his little “clandestine” meetings though…