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Transitions - Chapter Eight

by ShagsTheDustmop

Severus was in a relatively chipper mood, by his standards anyway, when he met Miss Granger in the staff room that afternoon to embark on their “outing”.  He’d come prepared wearing some of his few muggle garments under his robes, since he suspected they’d be venturing outside the magical world again.  His suspicions were confirmed by her appearance in a becoming peach sundress, white jumper, and a pair of rather feminine-looking shoes.  She carried nothing but a sort of muggle handbag, slung by a strap over her shoulder.  Severus tugged his gaze from the way the strap delineated her breasts and forced himself to ask, “Where to, Miss Granger?”

“To London,” she replied.  “I know a place just the place south of the river that will have the best selection.”

Dear Merlin, thought Severus.  Please tell me we’re not going shopping for clothes or some such nonsense.  “Selection of what, Miss Granger?” he asked, mentally cringing.

“Oh, I’ll explain along the way,” she replied cheerfully.  “We’ll head off from the Leaky Cauldron, since there’s a tube stop close by.  After you!”  She motioned toward the fireplace for him to leave first.

After passing through the familiar pub with the obligatory greetings to its occupants, the two made their now familiar way to the London Underground.  Miss Granger led him again through the maze of corridors marked with strange labels like “Piccadilly Line” and “Jubilee Line” that he never seemed to get used to.  When they found seats on their train, Miss Granger began her explanation.

“One of the strongest instincts a person can have beyond those we’ve already explored is the parental instinct.  Caring for someone, especially someone who loves you unconditionally, usually leads to a feeling of love for that someone in return,” she began.

Severus interrupted her with a shudder.  “Please don’t tell me you’re finding me a child, Miss Granger.  I trust I need not remind you that I see hundreds of these throughout the year and not one has inspired the slightest bit of ‘parental instinct!’”

“I don’t agree with that; you’ve certainly shown some favoritism to your Slytherins on many occasions.  But fear not, we’re not getting you a child.” Miss Granger assured him.  “Even in the muggle world you can’t just buy a child from the local market!  No, I was thinking more along the lines of a pet.”

“Have you forgotten, Miss Granger, that I already have an owl in my possession?  Surely he qualifies as a pet?”

Miss Granger shook her head. “I don’t think so, actually.  I’ve seen your owl and though he is a useful creature he doesn’t exactly inspire the type of feelings I mean.  He’s very self-sufficient and hardly affectionate at all.  No, what you need, Professor Snape, is a puppy.”

“A puppy?” Severus thought back to the picture of the tiny golden puppies she’d showed him several weeks before.  “You must be joking.  I’m hardly a puppy sort of person.”

”There are all different sorts of puppies, Professor, they aren’t all fluffy cuteness.  I’d wager that where we’re going, we can find at least one that appeals to you.  They have adult dogs as well, you know, if you don’t mind taking on a used pet.”

Severus remained unconvinced as they made their trek to what Miss Granger referred to as the “animal shelter”.  Once there, Miss Granger informed the clerk that they’d come to adopt a dog.  After making them wait for several minutes in the waiting room, another clerk arrived to take them through a door labeled “Dogs.”

The room looked almost like a prison, thought Severus, or maybe a hospital; a long, narrow hallway with rows upon rows of cages with cross-barred doors that resembled tiny little cells.  There were a large variety of dogs here, acknowledged Severus, of all shapes and sizes.  Some sat right near the fronts of their cages, eager, tails wagging.  Too cute.  Severus passed these by; their excited enthusiasm reminded him of the way Miss Granger used to jump up to answer every question in class, something he was trying to forget as he much preferred the more tempered personality she exhibited now.  Others bared their teeth and snarled as he approached; these too he ignored.  Some lay so still one might think they were asleep, not even budging when Severus shook the door of their cage.

Severus walked the length of the room twice, examining his choices.  “See any that you like, sir?” asked Miss Granger.

He shook his head and motioned with his hand to silence her.  He was still thinking.  He paced the room several more times, stopping in front of one of the farthest cages from the door they’d come in through.  In it was a scruffy-looking black dog of questionable parentage, the grey hairs that dotted its muzzle revealing it to be of advanced age.  It had walked gingerly to the door to watch him approach, looked up at him resignedly and then sat, gazing back with glazed eyes.  Waiting.

“Tell me about this one.”  Severus ignored Miss Granger and addressed the attendant, who wore a nametag pronouncing her to be “Claire.”

Claire looked doubtfully back.  “Oh, you don’t want that one, sir, she’s old, very old, can barely see through her cataracts, poor old thing.  Probably doesn’t have more than one or two good years left in her.  If you want a black dog, you’d be much better off with one of these.”  Claire indicated a litter of excessively perky puppies near the front of the cellblock.

Severus looked down into the old dog’s eyes again.  They seemed to speak back at him.  “She’s right, you know.  I’m really not good for much anymore.  I’m old and even sometimes incontinent.  You should take a puppy and let me just die already.”

“No.  I want this one.”  Severus’ mind was made up.  Miss Granger may have dragged him here against his better judgment but he was not leaving without that dog.

As Miss Granger filled out the paperwork, the attendant told Severus what she knew about his new pet.  A family had brought her in several days ago, complaining that she kept messing on the rug, saying they didn’t want her anymore.  Her name was “Moira”, but Claire told him he could probably change that if he wished.  Claire rambled on for several minutes about all of Moira’s various maladies, and how expensive the medicines to treat them would be.  Severus was not dissuaded.  He wagered he could whip up something to clear those eyes at the very least.  So, armed with a few days worth of medicines and a leash, Severus and Miss Granger were presented with Moira.

“You should apparate back with the dog, Professor,” suggested Miss Granger. “She’s a little too big to carry on the tube.  I’ll stop at a pet shop and get you some supplies and meet you in your dungeon a couple of hours from now.”

“You can’t just transfigure everything we’d need?” asked Severus curiously.  “I’m shocked, Miss Granger, after hearing Minerva rave about your talents for the past seven years that you would need to go to a shop to acquire pet supplies.”

Miss Granger rolled her eyes at him.  “Geriatric dog food is hardly part of the normal NEWT course in transfiguration, Professor.  And since I myself have never had a pet dog, I’d rather get advice from the experts the first time around.  I’ll bring everything down to you later.”

Severus led Moira into an alleyway nearby, then stooped to carefully lift her before apparating to just outside the Hogwarts grounds.  Moira seemed startled by the experience, but made only minimal fuss.  He gently set her back down and began leading her through the grounds back toward the castle.  She kept up his pace for a couple minutes, but then began to lag behind, panting and wobbly on her feet.  Severus felt a flash of annoyance at the inconvenience, but when he looked down, intent on scolding her, but when he met her pained expression, he felt something very different replace the irritation.  Something surprisingly akin to compassion.  The experience was almost overwhelming.

“Come on, mutt, let’s take you to see Poppy.”  He slowed his pace to match that of his new pet.

“Severus?  I thought you’d said the stomachache potions wouldn’t be ready until next week?”  Madame Pomfrey looked very surprised to see Severus leading an aged dog into her hospital wing but wisely did not question him much.

“I’m not at all experienced in looking after pets, Severus, especially canine ones, but I’ll see what I can do.”  The potions master thought he heard Poppy mumbling something about “a cat or a rat or a toad” but chose not to reply.

Poppy declared that the dog’s hips seemed to have a similar ailment to that which Albus’ joints used to suffer on occasion, so she produced a tonic that should “do the trick, if you can get her to drink it.”  Severus wondered if it were illegal to cast “imperio” on an animal for its own good, before deciding it might be simpler to mix the potion in with her food.  He considered the various herbs he could add to ensure the result was palatable as Poppy began to treat the old dog.

Moira’s cataracts were removed with a variation of pupula acclaro, then Poppy announced that she’d done all she could.  “She still is rather an old dog, Severus, so she may get a bit dodgy from time to time.”

Severus nodded to Poppy in goodbye and made his way back to the dungeon, Moira trotting contentedly beside him.  He imagined how shocked the other professors would be to see him wandering the halls accompanied by a pet, never mind how the students would react.  Luckily he had several weeks of summer remaining to become accustomed to the idea.

When Miss Granger returned that afternoon with food and toys, Severus had already transfigured beds for Moira both in his lab and in his own private quarters.  Moira rested comfortably in the latter while the young woman reiterated what Claire from the shelter had told him about how much to feed her and how often to take her outside. 

“Wouldn’t it be simpler to just make a sort of loo for her down here?” grumbled Severus, out of sorts from being reminded of his responsibilities as if he were a child.  Additionally, he didn’t particularly enjoy going out in the sun.  “It’d be less walking for her and any mess can be cleared with a simple evanesco.”  Severus knew that from years of removing the remains of students’ botched potions experiments. 

Hermione shook her head.  “Not all the time.  A dog needs lots of fresh air and sunlight – real sunlight – to be happy and healthy.  And she’ll adjust much better to these new surroundings if she has time out of doors.  You could fix up a run for her for when you’re asleep, but you should take her outside at least twice a day, at least during the warmer months.  In the winter we’ll need to create an artificial solution but not until then; Moira will be able to tell the difference,” she insisted.

Miss Granger had been right about one thing, pondered Severus that evening while he was reading the latest issue of Alchemica Acta in his sitting room.  A dog behaved more … companion-like… than his owl did.  At that moment, Moira was lying on the floor by his feet, or rather, on his feet, keeping them nicely warm through his slippers.  She wasn’t actively demanding his attention, but seemed content to lay quietly in contact with him.  Severus could feel the gentle in and out of her breathing against his feet.  He rather liked it, actually.  It made him feel… not alone. 


Severus sat under the shade of a large oak tree near the lake several days later.  His attention was split between reading a book and watching Moira amble around nearby, her nose in the grass.  He’d had the idea to let Moira loose in the meadow, bound to remain within 30 feet of him by way of a simple proximity charm.  This allowed Severus to remain productive even while taking the dog for her twice daily exercise.

It wasn’t too bad, in all honesty.  The tree shielded him from the sun’s rays while allowing him to enjoy the smell of the fresh outdoor air.  Before this summer, he’d only come outside due to necessity, but now he was rediscovering the simple pleasures of a light breeze, the smell of the wildflowers blooming nearby, the crackle of acorns underfoot.  The solitude of the grounds seemed peaceful and appealing, especially when compared to his self-imposed exile in the dungeons.  There, he hid from others; here, he merely reveled in their absence.

His solitude was not to last long.  Severus watched as Moira trotted towards Miss Granger until the proximity charm would allow her to go no further.  There she sat, wagging her tail gently as she watched the woman approach.

The librarian knelt to pet the dog, the leaning motion unsettling her top and allowing Severus a bird’s eye view down the valley between her breasts.  Severus found himself responding to the arousing sight, hastily dropping his book onto his lap as Miss Granger stood and approached him, Moira close behind.

“Lovely day today, isn’t it, Professor?”  Miss Granger unceremoniously plopped down on the grass in front of him.  She sat cross legged, elbows on her knees, her face cradled lightly in her hands.  This position also offered Severus a pleasing view.

“Indeed,” replied Severus, unconsciously petting Moira as she sat beside him, resting her chin on his knee.  “The air is quite temperate.”

Miss Granger laughed.  “You don’t have to worry about admitting to me you’re starting to like it outside.  I won’t tell anyone.”

Severus merely raised his eyebrows, saying nothing.  He preferred to let Miss Granger direct the conversation where she would, so that he could enjoy the benefits of surprise.

“Tell me truly, Professor.  How do you feel today?”  She was eyeing him carefully now, obviously entering therapist mode.

Severus sighed.  He could play that game, or prevaricate and pretend he didn’t know why she had asked.  He chose the former, deciding that a little acknowledgement of success would do Miss Granger no harm, as long as he did not reveal the full extent of it.  “I feel…relaxed.”

“That’s definitely a start.  You’ve been high-strung for so long I imagine you’d forgotten how to relax.  Have you been listening to the music I gave you?”

“Occasionally.  But not all of it.  Only a few of the selections are bearable, the rest give me a headache,” admitted Severus.

Miss Granger beamed.  “That’s perfectly normal, everyone has different tastes in music.  Personally, I can’t bear the ‘punk’ music that Harry and Ron listen to…”

Her voice trailed off.  Severus could see in her face that she’d just been reminded of that which she was trying to forget so he tried to distract her.  “I like the di Rossi the best, myself.   The Liszt and Chopin are also pleasant.  Moira appears to like them too.”

“How do you feel about Moira?”  Miss Granger’s eyes moved to look down at the canine whose chin rested on Severus’ thigh.  “Now that you’ve had her a few days.”

Severus looked down at the content face of his familiar, feeling a niggle of affection.  “She is tolerable.  Although it is rather inconvenient having to clean up after her and keep to her medication schedule.”

“I’m glad.  That she’s tolerable, that is.”  Miss Granger looked to be stifling a smile – whether one of satisfaction or believed superior understanding, Severus couldn’t tell.  “Who do you like?”

“I beg your pardon?”  Severus didn’t understand the question.

“If you could choose any person to spend your day with, who would it be?  No fair answering ‘nobody’, you have to choose.”  There was that curiously analytical look again.

Severus thought a moment before replying.  The first answer that popped into his head seemed rather unwise to share, so he strove for a more prudent response.  “Everyone I would choose to spend my time with is dead.  However, Poppy is fine in small doses, I suppose.”

Miss Granger’s eyes shimmered with a look of pity, but only for a moment before she sprang another question.  “And who do you hate?  Not in the general sense, as in the Death Eaters, but personally.  Who do you know that every time you see them or even think about them, your blood boils?”

“Besides Saint Potter?”  quipped Severus.  “Cornelius Fudge, perhaps.  He is as stupid as they come.  But the rest of these, too, are dead.”

“Lucky for them,” Miss Granger grinned, apparently ignoring the remark about her friend.  “What qualities do you look for in a friend?”

A friend.  For him?  Now there was a foreign concept.  Severus had known two masters, both of whom held his life in his hands and neither of whom he would consider a friend, despite any good intentions the latter of the two had.  Albus had been a benefactor, a protector, almost a father to him, but never a friend.  Severus had many acquaintances, including many of the Hogwarts staff, but these too were acquaintances by proximity and not by choice.  He avoided discussions of their private lives, and they did the same of him.  Some of the Death Eaters, ironically, were the closest thing to a friend he’d ever had, but the level of trust that Severus theoretically associated with the term was understandably absent.  Friends?  He’d had none.

But if he did, someday, have a friend, what would that friend be like?  He repeated the first words that came to mind.  “Intelligent.  Trustworthy.  Discreet.  Sensible.” 

“Discreet? That’s an interesting choice.  Why discreet?”  Miss Granger tipped her head to the left, the way she always did when she was thinking.

Severus smirked.  “I’m surprised you have to ask, Miss Granger.  You are quite aware that I’m a private person.  Any friend of mine would have to keep my business to themselves, and I of course would do the same in return.”

“I understand.  But what if you were in danger, and this friend needed to betray your confidence to keep you from harm?  Would you still consider them your friend?“

Severus pondered this for a minute.  “I suppose that would depend somewhat on the end result, now wouldn’t it?  And how serious the perceived harm actually was.  I’m sure I would be quite angry in any case, but whether I could overlook that would depend on the circumstances.  My trust is neither easy to earn nor easy to regain once lost.  But this is all irrelevant, since I do not have friends nor am likely to have them in future.”

“Why do you say that, that you wouldn’t have them in future?”  Miss Granger seemed confused by his words.

“Come now, Miss Granger, be honest with yourself.  I see nothing about myself that would encourage anyone to befriend me.  I accepted this long ago, and have made my peace with it.”  Years of hearing himself referred to as the greasy git no one wanted around had driven that point deeply in.

Miss Granger snorted.  “That’s patently ridiculous.  The world is made up of all kinds of people, Professor, and everyone appeals to someone.  There are far worse people than you that have friends, so I see no reason you should not make some for yourself.  You just need to meet a wider variety of people.”

Severus was about to retort but then Miss Granger continued as if she’d latched onto an idea.  “Yes, that’s it!  You need to meet some new people…  I know what your next treatment is going to be!”  She scrambled to her feet, brushing some twigs from her skirt.  “I need to do some research.  Enjoy the rest of your afternoon, Professor.  I’ll see you at supper and fill you in then on the details of our next outing!”

 


On to Chapter Nine

Back to Chapter Seven