Just As Good

Lily shoved the door to the Three Broomsticks open, smirking as it slammed against the wall.  She glanced back to make sure she hadn’t  broken the door. She had not; too bad, the damn thing was in her way after all and with the mood she was in, anything standing in her way had better watch out!  The bar’s few patrons turned to check out the noise, but Lily merely glared back defiantly. 

The young woman stomped up to the bar, climbing onto a stool at the far left end of the bar, as far from the other patrons as she could sit.  She huffed and grimaced as Madame Rosmerta continued chatting easily with the two young men standing by the middle of the bar as they paid their tab.  How long would she have to wait for some service, anyway?

As if sensing her annoyance, Rosmerta turned to look her way, nodding to indicate she’d be there in a moment.  She waved sweetly to the young men as they departed, and then made her way towards Lily’s end of the bar.

“Bad day, love?”  The barkeep smiled in sympathy, obviously not expecting an answer.  “What’ll it be?”

The question momentarily stumped Lily.  All she knew was that she wanted a drink.  Not having much experience with alcohol, she had no idea what kind of drink she wanted.  This was hardly a butterbeer moment.  “Something strong.  Surprise me.”

“I know just the thing,” nodded Rosmerta, turning back to the large display of bottles and vials she kept behind the bar.  The older woman pulled several bottles of different colored liquors down from their racks and lined them up on the bar a few feet down from Lily.  She ducked under the counter to retrieve a tall, narrow glass, which she filled with ice.  After filling the glass with a little liquid from each bottle, Rosmerta swirled it gently to mix the fluids together before topping the mixture off with a single cherry and handing it to Lily.  “How do you like this?”

Slightly nervous despite her determination to Get Drunk, Lily gazed down at the strange concoction for a couple seconds before raising the glass to her lips and taking a large swig.  The drink was sweet yet pungent at the same time, the unfamiliar burn of alcohol only partly disguised by a strong fruity flavor.  Lily swirled the liquid around in her mouth a moment and then swallowed.  Was it her imagination, or could she already feel the buzz?  “Perfect,” she replied before taking another gulp.

“I won’t bother putting these back yet then.”  Rosmerta gave Lily a sly wink before wandering off to check on the pub’s only other patrons, who were seated at a table by the window.  Lily paid little attention to the polite conversation the proprietress made, choosing instead to focus on her drink and the reason for her need for it.  James Potter.

"Maybe we should see other people for awhile,” he’d said.  As if he weren’t the one who had pursued her for several years despite her protests.  Against her better judgment she’d finally accepted his advances in their senior year at Hogwarts, believing he was no longer the egotistical bully of his younger years.  Lily had thought James had changed, but apparently she’d been wrong.

“I just want to see what else is out there before settling down and becoming all domesticated.  Don’t you ever wonder about other people, Lils?”   No, arsehole.  Since I started dating you, I’ve had no eyes for anyone else, and more fool me to think you felt the same.  I’m so bloody sorry if shagging me has gotten boring, Potter.  Sorry to cramp your bloody style. 

Lily looked down – her glass was empty.  After the first few sips it went down real easy.  Disgruntled, she called out to the barkeep.  “Hey Rosmerta!  I want another one!”  Perhaps tomorrow she’d regret her manners, but right now they were the furthest thing from her mind.  Right now she only wanted the fuzzy, glowing feeling that was creeping upon her to continue, and that required another drink.

The older witch chuckled.  “Impatient, aren’t we, love!” 

Lily watched as the middle aged couple at the table stood to leave, hoping they’d hurry so Rosmerta would come back more quickly.  They didn’t hurry, and Rosmerta walked them to the door, locking it behind them as they left.  Lily looked up towards the clock hanging in the back of the room.  It was just past midnight.  Crap.  So much for another drink.

“Are you closing?”  A small feeling of shame pierced through Lily’s fog as she fumbled for her coin purse.  “I should leave.”

Rosmerta walked back to Lily and put a hand on her arm.  “No, stay.  I can tell when a young lady is in need of a good drink and a good shoulder.  It’s part of the job description.”  The older lady stepped behind the bar and mixed two of the funny multi-colored drink, handing one to Lily and keeping the other for herself.

“I’m glad you like my drink, Lily, is it?”  Lily nodded. “I call it ‘Rosie’s revenge’.”

“Does that mean I’ll have a wicked hangover tomorrow?” asked Lily after taking a generous sip.

Rosmerta shook her head as she came back around to sit down on the stool next to Lily’s.  “Nothing a good pepper-up potion can’t cure.  I just like the way the name sounds.  Now tell me, what’s he done to put you in such a mood?”

“He?” repeated Lily.  “How do you know it’s a he?”

“It’s always a he,” laughed the older lady.  “If a lady wants a drink, ninety-nine times out of a hundred it’s because some man treated her poorly.  Am I wrong?”

Lily stared down into her drink, ashamed to be just a statistic.  “No, you’re not wrong.”

“So what did he do?”

“You see this ring?”  Lily nodded to the hand that was clutching her drink.  “He gave it to me six months ago, when he asked me to marry him.  He told me I was the only woman he’d ever wanted, ever loved.  And I believed him.”

At this Lily chugged the rest of her drink.  “But tonight, just a few months before the wedding, he comes over to my flat to tell me he’s feeling trapped, that he wants to see other people.  Oh, he didn’t want to call off the wedding or anything, he just wanted a chance to ‘sow some wild oats.’”

“What did you say to that?” asked the barkeep gently as she took Lily’s glass and began reconstructing a refill from where she sat.

“I told him that if he wanted my permission to shag other people he could go to Hell,” sneered Lily.  “And I meant it!  I told him to get the fuck out of my flat and that I never wanted to see him again.  And then I came here.  I should have thrown his damn ring back in his face.”

Rosmerta pursed her lips as if pondering.  “Hmmm… I know you don’t want to hear this, but maybe he had a point?”

“A point?  What are you talking about?” challenged Lily.

“A lifetime is a very long time to be with just one person.  And if you’ve only ever experienced each other, then how can you really be sure that you’ve chosen the right person?”  The barkeep gave Lily her drink.  “You might think so know, but you won’t really know unless you’ve tried someone else.”

“But I don’t want anyone else!” Lily insisted, head down, staring into her glass again.  “I haven’t so much as looked at another man since I started dating him back at school.”

Lily jumped as felt soft fingers brushing her hair away from her face.  She turned to face the older woman, who replied softly, “What about a woman?”

“A woman,” repeated Lily, shocked into downing half of her drink in one gulp.  “No, not a woman either.”

Rosmerta was watching her intensely, and Lily felt herself returning the gaze.  The older woman’s fingers came down to gently touch her cheek.  Lily had always believed that alcohol numbed one’s senses, but she felt the touch far more keenly than normal.  Her mind spun, part of it rebelling against the concept of thinking of a woman in that way, but another part reveling in the excitement of the foreign and forbidden.  Rosmerta was a pretty woman, her hair falling in soft curls around her face, her eyes warm and friendly, her lips shiny and red from her lipstick, her breasts swelling gently out from the low-cut blouse she wore.

Lily didn’t protest as Rosmerta’s fingers stroked her cheek, then glided softly down the side of her neck; rather, she shivered at the pleasurable sensation.   She’d always loved it when James kissed and bit her neck; it made her feel sexy and desirable.  Just like Rosmerta was making her feel now. 

It was weird, getting these feelings from a woman.  Lily could imagine the disapproving voices of her parents and sister if they could see her now.  “Disgraceful!  Freak!” Petunia would call her.  But right now, the thought that kept repeating in Lily’s mind was that it felt good, and how could that possibly be wrong?

If James could experiment, why shouldn’t she?

Lily watched herself lift one of her own hands to Rosmerta’s cheek, mimicking the caresses she’d been given moments before.  Rosmerta smiled softly, and turned her face into Lily’s hand, pressing a kiss into her palm.  Lily’s eyes closed and she gasped as she felt her index finger be sucked into the older woman’s mouth.   Whether it was a result of the alcoholic haze or some deep-seated lesbian desires Lily didn’t know, but her entire body was reacting to the sensation of Rosmerta’s tongue swirling around her finger as if she were fellating it.  Lily heard a groan, but several seconds passed before she realized it came from her.

Rosmerta’s chair scraped against the wooden floor.  Lily opened her eyes to find the other witch had stood and now right in front of her.  She felt the cold air on her wet finger as Rosmerta released it, her lips making a trail up the sensitive flesh of her inner arm, her tongue lightly carving a path of sensation.  Merlin, this woman knew just where to touch her!  

James was different.  James never bothered with her fingers or her arms, preferring to go straight for the obvious targets.  As the silky tongue traced a circular path in the crook of her elbow, Lily moaned and forgot all about James. 

She wanted to do nothing but feel, but she also wanted to touch.  Her free hand cupped the older woman’s shoulder, which was only half covered by her blouse.  Her skin was soft like Lily’s own, no bizarre tufts of hair marring the smoothness.  With a boldness she didn’t know she had, Lily allowed her hand to wander towards Rosmerta’s neck and then down toward that which was undisputably feminine.  Rosmerta groaned in either surprise or pleasure then took Lily’s tentative hand under her own, guiding it along the neckline of her blouse to cup her fully.  Lily had touched her own breasts, of course, but this one was much larger, the nipple much more extrusive than her own.  She thumbed it tentatively, rewarded by the sounds of pleasure coming from the other woman.  Lily always loved having her breasts touched too.

She didn’t protest as Rosmerta began unbuttoning her blouse, although a very small part of her mind still attempted to warn her about how bizarre and wrong this was.  She didn’t care.  It felt good, and she deserved to feel good.  Lily’s hand squeezed and her mouth fell open as Rosmerta pushed aside the blouse and bra to lift her breast and suck gently on the peak.  She closed her eyes to be more aware of the sensations of touch, allowing her to fully feel each tug of the lips and flick of the tongue.  With her eyes closed, Rosmerta’s mouth could have been James’ except for slight differences in timing and motion, nuances that showed that where James had to figure out what made Lily wet, Rosmerta just knew.  This was just as good, if not better.

Lily’s eyes flew open when Rosmerta’s head left her breasts, and she found herself being gently tugged by the hand.  Rosmerta was motioning towards one of the tables in the back of the room.  “It will be easier over there.”

The two held hands as they walked over to the table then stood, gazing intently at each other for a moment.  Lily wondered if she should kiss Rosmerta’s lovely red lips, since generally that was expected when two people explored each others’ bodies, but she hesitated.  She wasn’t sure she could do that.

Whether Rosmerta sensed this or merely wasn’t interested in kissing, Lily didn’t know, but she found herself being gently pushed back against the table until she was seated on the edge.  The older woman continued removing Lily’s shirt and bra, the latter of which had been hooked awkwardly underneath her breast.  The air was chilly but Lily didn’t mind.  She waited for whatever Rosmerta would do next.

Rosmerta yanked her own top unceremoniously over her head and tossed it onto a chair before reaching behind her back to unclasp whatever was holding the wisp of lace that served as her bra together and discarding it as well.  The older witch’s breasts were large and sagged a bit without the support of a bra, but the nipples were lush and a deep mauve and Lily couldn’t draw her eyes away. 

“Do you want to kiss them?” asked Rosmerta as she stepped close to where Lily sat, her breasts only inches from Lily’s mouth. 

Lily nodded nervously.  She heard Rosmerta laugh a little as she leaned in closer to bring a nipple right up against Lily’s lips.  “Then do it.”

Lily only had to open her mouth to take the swollen peak inside.  She tongued it tentatively for a moment, then wrapped her arms around Rosmerta’s waist and began to suck hungrily.  Driven by the memories of what had felt good to her, Lily licked and teased the tip while still applying suction.  She imagined this were her breast and that she were pleasuring herself.  The moans coming from Rosmerta were really her own.

She felt Rosmerta reach back to take her right hand and guide it between her legs.  “Touch me when you do that.” 

Lily allowed her fingers to rub back in forth where Rosmerta had placed it and was rewarded by the feel of a hand cupping her own breast, a thumb rubbing the tip.  She sucked harder in response to the sensation and felt the other woman bucking against her hand.  She rubbed faster, taking the hint and felt throbbing in her own groin as Rosmerta came, crying out loudly with the most erotic sound Lily had ever heard.

She was pushed onto her back as Rosmerta fell against her until they were both lying on the table, the other woman’s hand still on her breast, unmoving.  They lay like that a moment before Rosmerta pulled back, still slightly out of breath.   Lily moved to follow Rosmerta as she stood, but the older woman pressed her back down on the table with one hand.

“We’re not done yet.  It’s your turn.”

Lily watched as Rosmerta pulled a chair directly in front of Lily’s legs and sat down in it.  She didn’t protest as she felt hands gently spreading her knees apart, she merely listened to the scrape of chair legs as Rosmerta moved in closer.  She watched as her skirt was folded up, and obediently raised her bottom when Rosmerta gently tugged her knickers down.  Lily knew what was coming and wanted it with all her being.  She closed her eyes and waited.

A hand pressed gently against each of her inner thighs, encouraging her to open further.  She complied, desperate and eager.  She felt the warmth of breath against her, each breath almost tapping against her in contrast to the cold air of the room.  Her hips resisted the urge to close the distance, instead wiggling anxiously against the pressure of the hands against her thighs.  And then, the tip of a tongue, pressing gently through the folds, teasing gently around the spot, driving her mad with wanting.  She felt one of the hands leave her thigh to rest on her stomach, fingers circling in a pattern similar to that the tongue was drawing on her.  Lily moaned.  It all felt so good.

The other hand crept softly up the inside of her thigh, tickling a little as it did so before reaching where the tongue was already licking.  She felt fingers spreading her folds open wider to make a path for the tongue to wetly trace.  It licked back and forth, barely grazing her clit several times, making Lily squirm against it to try to bring it closer, before hot lips clamped down gently around it and began to suck.  

Lily wasn’t conscious of making the sounds that were coming incoherently from her mouth as she nearly wept with the pleasure that she was receiving from that marvelous mouth.  She didn’t have to instruct, “Faster,” or “Harder,” because the mouth knew just what to do.  It was so easy in comparison, to just lie there and melt.  Just when the sucking became too intense, the mouth would relax and slowly lave gentle circles, or travel down to poke its tongue inside her. 

She kept her eyes tightly closed as she felt two fingers enter her, and those lips humming as they closed around her clit again, the feel of both sucking and fucking at the same time.  She couldn’t restrain her hips anymore; they strained against hand and mouth, rubbing, forcing the level of pressure to the limit as she bucked and cried out, driving herself to a shattering release.   

Lily didn’t move.  She didn’t open her eyes.  She allowed the afterglow to course through her.  The pleasure.  Her lover.  Her fiancé.  James.

Lily opened her eyes.  Rosmerta was watching her silently, looking somewhat satisfied with herself.  And then she remembered.  James had wanted to experiment.  To see what else was out there.  She grinned in the knowledge of what she’d found.

“Are you ok?” asked Rosmerta.

“Fine.  That was lovely,” replied Lily.  She chuckled.  “Just what I needed.”

She stood and began retrieving her clothing.  Rosmerta just observed, saying nothing, as Lily donned her bra and blouse, attempting somewhat futilely to look presentable.  Although she still felt the buzz of alcohol, her mind was relatively clear and she felt very odd about what had just occurred.  It had been simply divine, but it wasn’t love.  She looked across at Rosmerta and pondered the concept of a relationship with her.  And couldn’t.  Not necessarily because she was a woman, but because she knew very little about her save her extraordinary talents.  And somehow, she knew it would be very awkward to try to build a relationship from sex.  The sex would always get in the way.

But Rosmerta merely watched her, saying nothing of tomorrow, or expectations as Lily finished dressing.  Maybe she already knew. 

Lily decided the less said the better.  She approached the other woman and leaned down to kiss her cheek.  “Thank you.”

“My pleasure,” replied the other woman, smiling slightly, saying no more.

Lily gave a little wave and turned to leave, turning the bolt to unlock the door and this time closing it softly behind her.

She wandered back towards her flat in a sort of daze.  What had just happened?  Was it real?  Could anything that perfect have been real?  She decided it didn’t matter whether it was real or not.  It wasn’t love.

She climbed the steps to her flat and startled at the sight of her fiancé, sitting against her front door, dozing.  She shook him awake, unable to get past him.

He jumped, startled, as his eyes focused and he apparently remembered where he was and what he was doing there.  He scrambled to his feet.  “Lily!  Thank Merlin you’re back!  I am so sorry, love!  I don’t know what came over me earlier.  After I left, all I could think about was you never wanting to see me again and how I couldn’t bear the thought of living my life without you.” 

Lily started to speak but he put a finger over her lips.  “Shh.  Let me finish.  I’m sorry I was such a fool.  I don’t need to sow any wild oats.  I don’t need to experiment with other women.  I just need you.  Please forgive me.”

Lily looked up into the eyes of the man she’d agreed to spend her life with and saw remorse, anguish, and love.  He did love her.  And she knew she loved him.  Despite the fact that he didn’t know her body as if it were his own, she still wanted to spend her life helping him figure it out. 

“I forgive you.” 

James drew her close and hugged her tight and she returned the embrace, not angry at all anymore, and in part a little grateful for what his moment of indecision had allowed her to experience.  She was ready to get married.

FINIS

Author's Note:  Thanks to my beta FlocksOfTurtles and to Scarah for helping me decide which pairing to write.  Also, some of you might notice that Lily didn't pay for her drinks.  I decided that after all that happened, Lily probably forgot, and pulling out her purse again would have probably been insulting to Rosmerta, who probably wouldn't ask for money before Lily left for the same reasons.