I, Snape - Chapter Fifteen

There's Got to Be a Morning After

I awoke to a pattering of rain on my face and a grey predawn mist surrounding us.

“Miss Granger, we need to get inside.” The raindrops came down faster, hastening her from whatever dream she was in. Her eyes blinked a few times and my heart soared aloft. She was quite lovely.

“Professor?” Looking around for her robe, she found it and hugged it to her.

“I think we should make a run for it.” And we ran. Stark naked as the day we were born. Back in the seventies, it was called streaking. We arrived at the entrance to Hogwarts quite out of breath. The rain was coming down in sheets. Miss Granger looked at me and started to laugh. I’ll tell you now-- I don’t like being laughed at. So I glared at her and then I saw she looked like some sort of wild thing all covered with grass and mud. I wondered if my own appearance could be any better. She picked something out of my hair and showed it to me. It was a common weed bearing tiny blue flowers.

“Was that what you found so amusing?” I asked. She nodded and then she frowned.

“Last night…” And she turned away from me.

No, I know that a few odd things went on. I took her in my arms.

“You’re trembling. We need to dry off and get warm.” I searched my robe for my wand, but she found hers first and cast a warming spell over us. Us. I was beginning to like the sound of it, that little Muggleborn girl and I.

I wanted to continue to touch her, hold her close to me, but I felt ashamed. If my cloudy memory served me right, I may have inadvertently insulted her, er… repeatedly. And then, well, I had jumped in the lake, knowing full well I’d sink like a stone. She saved me; however, there is a great deal of difference between wanting someone to go away and leave you alone and that person dying. It had been a stupid, rash action on my part. I put my robe back on and began to trudge back to my chambers. She followed, in silence for a change.

When we arrived I told her she could have the shower first. She touched my shoulder and I looked at her. “Will you be all right?” she asked. Her gentle brown eyes were soft and glowing.

I couldn’t help but smile, “Silly girl. I’m always all right.” And I headed to my bed.

I thought about what I’d been trying to explain to her. I don’t think her youth would allow her to understand that people make mistakes. She saw us all as monsters, and admittedly, after a while such was the Dark Lord’s influence that many of us did become monsters. But they had also been my fellow Slytherin’s, people I knew from childhood. And although I was a loner, still I had been a part of that house and a part of that group.

The despair returned and rushed over me. I could barely breath. Indeed, I bore the Dark Mark like the others, why was it that when our Lord fell, the others died and yet I didn’t? Why was I the only one carrying the mark who was still breathing? My head began to hurt and I buried my face in my pillow. Only me left to mourn those who had once been young and vital with hopes and dreams. Now all that was left were their widows and orphans. The masses had clamored for me to be sent to Azkaban to pay for the crimes of those who had escaped through death any reparation.

Draco’s eyes had been filled with hatred when he asked, “Why were you spared and not my father? What did you do?” Why boy, I was a traitor, a Judas in Muggle religious terms. There, I did pass my Muggle Studies O.W.L.S. after all. But I received no galleons, only the great and glorious opportunity to live out my life in the purgatory of thrusting knowledge down the unwilling gullets of Hogwarts students. It’s over now. Had it been worth it? I had my vengeance but all I tasted was ashes, the ashes of all those who trusted me.

And Miss Granger, she hated me as well now. I was only trying to explain what it was like back then. No one ever thought twice about using the word “Mudblood.” Now it’s practically a hanging offense. If I were to be concerned about the difference in our ages, it would only be because we are from two very different worlds with regard to Muggles and how they are viewed.

I pulled the cover up over my head and shivered. Though it was summer, the chill never faded here. There was a gentle tapping at the door.

“Go away, Miss Granger.” The door exploded open and there was the meddlesome witch.

“I’m sorry”, she said as she came through. “I was worried about you.”

I didn’t bother getting upset, why waste my energy? “Well, now you see that you were wrong and that I am fine. So please leave.”

“No, I have something to show you. Follow me.” She gave me a not too subtle shove off the bed. She took me by the hand and led me to my bathroom, our bathroom now I suppose. I entered it and nearly fell in.

“What do you think? Just like the prefect’s bath.” Miss Granger was very pleased with herself.

I stared at the swimming pool that my bathroom had been transformed into. There were faucets a plenty and three of them were running, filling the tub with the scent of orange blossom and mimosa. I felt sick to my stomach with the heavy floral scents. But then my attitude changed when Miss Granger divested herself of her robes and eased into the steaming waters.

My depression drifted away at the sight of her glorious body. She took a handful of suds and childishly blew them at me. I stared, drinking in the sight of her breasts bobbing amid the bubbles.

“Come into the water, Professor” she playfully slapped the water toward me.

“Miss Granger, you should despise me after last night.”

“I was angry. But, I think maybe it was the wine talking.”

“I am forgiven then?” I felt like crying. I was tired of this merry-go-round of emotions, yet the relief was profound.

“I believe it all merits further discussion, without the wine. Your relationship to the Death Eaters and your relationship to me as a… Muggleborn. And what flavor bean you really are-- because chocolate can also be quite bitter.” Miss Granger seemed a bit uncomfortable, but it passed. “Oh do come in!”

I slipped out of my robes and into the steamy warmth. I swore at that moment that I would never drink again, at least not in her company. That Miss Granger was willing to overlook my sins of last night and could let me join her here profoundly moved me. Any other witch would have hexed my balls off by now.

She came over with a long loofa sponge and began to rub its rough surface over my back. I felt the tension sloughing from my shoulders. I tried to turn around and take her in my arms, but she only said, “You are filthy,” and pushed me back. I sighed. The loofa sponge went lower and lower. I rested my arms over the side of the bath and spread my legs. The most amazing sensations coursed through me as she scrubbed the outside of one leg and then the inside. I was semi-hard, but didn’t dare make the first move. I meant it last night. I could think of nothing that would give me more pleasure than to follow the young chit’s lead. I was beginning to believe that I could put aside the fact that she was Muggleborn. I had been raised to believe the Muggles were our inferiors. It was so obvious that they lacked our powers and abilities. They were little better than monkeys, clever, articulate little monkeys. But every once and a while a Miss Granger would come along and prove all the theories wrong.

She had bested me, time and again. And for some reason she was willing to give herself to me, when really I should be groveling at her feet. I could only think that at this point she had enough information about me to ruin me. Why was she so forgiving? What did she want? Here, finally, was a mystery to engage me. I shivered with delight at the thought of trying to unravel this puzzle. For the first time in years, I felt pleasantly challenged. And it was a challenge that my cock was beginning to rise to.

Finally, she pronounced me clean and I eagerly took my turn to lather her. I wouldn’t use the loofa, her skin was far too soft and delicate. Gently I scooped a palmful of the soap flakes that were in a tray by the side of the bath. I rubbed it between my palms allowing it to foam and then I lathered her. I started at her neck and moved down to her shoulders and arms. They were dainty limbs, so very charming. I could not comprehend why she was with me. I was beginning to hope that it might be something other than curiosity on her part. I remembered she had asked me why couldn’t I be as nice to her outside of having sex as I was during it. I didn’t have the answer. But it behooved me to study the matter.

I touched her breasts and was rewarded by her moan of pleasure. They did not take long to clean and then, well, I stopped caring about the rest of her. I leaned down and took one of her nipples in my mouth, sucking gently. I brought my knee up to press against her mound and my hands roamed freely first on her breasts and then on her buttocks. I brought my mouth up to her neck and bit her lightly. She pushed her body against mine hungrily and I replaced my knee with my hand. My fingers found her well lubricated, which was wonderful because my cock was pulsing and in much need to find it’s home.

I grabbed her bottom and pulled her legs up around my waist. She locked them around me and I freed a hand to guide myself into her. Her beautiful long hair flowed with the water as she leaned back and floated there. How could I have taught her for so many years and not seen the ravishing angel beneath my nose? Could my irritation with her really have done such a good job of blinding me?

I slowly glided in and out of her. The sight of her body before me quickened my pulse and I fought not to be overwhelmed with lust. I moved us back closer to the side of the bath so she could have some purchase to thrust against me. Her face was a portrait in elation. Oh Gods, I plunged harder into her, unable to believe how fortunate I was to have her again. I watched her climax and it nearly sent me over. I stopped for a few moments to let her recover and then I began pushing into her again. The heat of the water mixed with the heat in my veins gave rise to heady feelings of rapture. Sweat pouring from my forehead, I continued to fuck her until the roiling in my loins gave forth to a long and intense orgasm.

I held her close while trying to catch my breath. We were both overheated from the temperature of the water and the excitement of our sexual congress. Smiling, she kicked off from the side of the pool and I followed her. The water at the other side was cool and refreshing. She took some shampoo and washed her hair. She allowed me to rinse it for her and again I marveled at my little pet. So very pretty, so very wanton. I kissed her again as she took some shampoo and began to work it into my scalp. I leaned back and felt so relaxed that I almost fell asleep. Her nimble fingers caressed and massaged me. I could imagine this being a replacement for sex, it felt so good. Again, the question arose in my mind. Why was she being so kind to me? Dare I hope for more?

All too soon we had finished with our ablutions and we moved from the bath into the very large towels that were resting on the warming rack.

“I have breakfast waiting,” she said. And I realized that indeed my stomach was quite empty. “It’s only croissants and mocha. I thought you might need some medicinal chocolate added to the coffee after last night.”

I didn’t know where to look. Her thoughtfulness again startled me. We sat on the chairs in her room and quietly ate our meal.

Eventually I worked up the courage to ask, “What plans do you have for the rest of the summer.”

“Well, I’m currently missing my parents’ trip to Europe. I suppose I could join them next week for the last few days. But Harry, Ron and I had talked about hostelling the rest of the summer. We never really formalized it though.”

I bit the inside of my cheek. Of course, she had plans. She was young, beautiful and talented. What had I been thinking she’d say?

“So it’s back to the Muggle world for you?”

“I haven’t a reason to stay in the Wizarding one. My parents said I could take a year off before making a decision as to what to do. I’d need to sit “A” levels to go to University. But I think I could do that pretty well. And I’ve already got 12 “O”s.”

In response to my look of surprise she replied, “Well, I needed something to do during my summers off from Hogwarts, so I’d self-study and take the exams.”

I nodded. “The Wizarding world is rather limited. We don’t have universities, or training programs really. Mostly if a job opens up, you take the position and you’re taught what you need to know. It’s even like that at St. Mungo’s.”

Miss Granger nodded. “I know. I’ve been trying to get a position somewhere. I’ve had more rejection slips.”

“Miss Granger, you can’t say that people have actually been turning you down for work?”

“Muggleborns need not apply.” She gave a little laugh. “Ron’s father was looking into getting me a clerkship at the Ministry. They wouldn’t be able to turn me down based on my O.W.L.S.”

I clenched my fist, but said nothing. I knew already. You didn’t have to be a Death Eater to be wary of the Muggleborn. I just hadn’t realized that what with her being the friend of the famous Boy Who Lived that she might have been affected by common prejudice. She was, after all, brilliant. But really the Wizarding world was too small to contain her or her intelligence. Which meant I’d be losing my pet.

“Prof. Snape, surely you are not surprised?” Miss Granger looked at me with concern. Why did she care what I felt? A sudden fury flared up within me. I got up from my chair throwing down the half-eaten croissant.

“Surprised? Of course, I’m not.” I felt beside myself and yet could not put voice to my feelings. I didn’t want her to go, but unless she wanted to set herself up as the next Dark Lord, and believe me she has the qualifications for it, what in Hades did we have to offer her? Having barely discovered that I wished to keep her, it was obvious that I would inevitably lose her. What an idiot I was. Of course, I’d lose her, what was I thinking?

I kicked over a chair and left the room. I had done this to her. Me and all the others who hated Muggles, hated the Muggleborn and had loved the Dark Lord. It served me right to lose her. Anything else would be pure hypocrisy. I entered my room and slammed and heavily warded the door. Miss Knows Everything and Will Never Get a Job In Spite Of It Granger wouldn’t be blasting it open anytime soon.

Once inside I fully vented my rage. The years of loneliness, emptiness, and self denial. It was all meaningless compared to the stupidity of our world. It was one thing for me to hate Muggles and Muggleborn, entirely different for the Wizarding world to snub her as well. Why hadn’t I been paying attention?

I blasted the bedding and the furniture and my books and papers. My fucking prison! My hole where I can just curl up and die for the next five years. And I deserved it, didn’t I!

I surveyed the wilderness my temper had created and sat down in it, in the muck, right where I belonged!

There was a scratching at the door. Miss Granger sounded timid, quite unlike her earlier entrance; perhaps all the screaming and cursing of the last half hour had given her a clue as to my mental state.

I released the wards and tore open the door.

“What the hell do you want?”

Miss Granger ogled the ruined room behind me before speaking.

“It seems Headmaster has sent us an owl.” Thereupon the largest, nastiest foulest fowl I have ever laid my eyes on swooped into the room and took a vile dump on my already destroyed bed.

“I think it’s a French Owl. I’ve seen them in Paris. Be careful of it, they have short tempers.”

I got out my wand and tried to get close enough to its claw to remove the large envelope attached to it. The damnable creature snapped at me. Then before I could get within an inch of it’s leg, I felt a nip on my ear. I quickly retreated.

“You’re bleeding, Professor.” I took a handkerchief and dabbed it against my ear. The thing screeched in triumph. Miss Granger left the room and quickly returned with some leftover croissant. The evil beast was distracted just long enough for me to get hold of the envelope and then it flew out the room, screeching something that sounded remarkably like “connard.” Of course owls don’t talk so it must have been my imagination, although Miss Granger seemed to be working very hard to keep herself from laughing.

Miss Granger stood beside me as I ripped open the envelope. Some tickets fell out of it and I picked them up while she unfolded the parchment.

“Why it’s for a Potions Exposition in, of all places, the States.” I cursed a little. “What could he be thinking?”

“We have reservations for the Knight Plane. Oh, no, Professor, we have less than an hour to pack and get there.” I looked over her shoulder glancing quickly over its contents.

“Perhaps we can ignore it all, Miss Granger.” I wasn’t leaving our little love nest. No. No way would I go.

“It says here in the Postscript that we must go.” Miss Granger continued. “Oh dear, you know how Professor Dumbledore can get.”

I nodded my head. Yes, yes, I did know. I looked at her then, took her hand and kissed it.

“Well, at least we have adjoining rooms,” she put her arms around me. I breathed in her wonderful scent and rested my chin on the top of her head. “The place is called the Wizard’s Hotel and Casino Royale.”

Well, how bad could it be? As long as I had her by my side, I thought I could handle anything. Which just goes to show you how often and sadly wrong I can be.
 

On to Chapter Sixteen
Back to Chapter Fourteen

Author's Note: The Morning After - Listen to it here:
http://www.maureenmcgovern.com/tma.htm

Lyrics to The Morning After sung by Maureen McGovern
Words and Music by All Kasha and Joel Hirshhorn
Oscar Award winner from the movie
"The Poseidon Adventure" starring Gene
Hackman, Ernest Borgnine, Shelley Winters,
Red Buttons, et al.

There's got to be a morning after
If we can hold on through the night
We have a chance to find the sunshine
Let's keep on lookin' for the light

Oh, can't you see the morning after?
It's waiting right outside the storm
Why don't we cross the bridge together
And find a place that's safe and warm?

It's not too late, we should be giving
Only with love can we climb
It's not too late, not while we're living
Let's put our hands out in time

There's got to be a morning after
We're moving closer to the shore
I know we'll be there by tomorrow
And we'll escape the darkness
We won't be searchin' any more

There's got to be a morning after
(There's got to be a morning after)
There's got to be a morning after
(There's got to be a morning after)
There's got to be a morning after
(There's got to be a morning after)
There's got to be a morning after
(There's got to be a morning after)
There's got to be a morning after
FADE
(There's got to be a morning after)

=============================================
Transcribed by Robin Hood
From "Super Hits Of the 70's-Have A Nice Day, Vol. ll"; Rhino R4 70758
These lyrics were transcribed from the specific recording mentioned above
and do not necessarily correspond with lyrics from other recordings, sheet
music, songbooks or lyrics printed on album jackets.


http://www.webfitz.com/lyrics/Lyrics/1973/281973.html