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Bitter Hearts - Chapter One

by Rilla

A/N: This story is a bit different for me. It will *gradually* build into a romance, but the early smut won't be between those characters.

I also want to add the warning that, as in my other stories, I see sexuality as being a very fluid concept. I don't like to label my characters as straight, gay or bi very often, because I feel that those terms are limiting. So you will see implied slash, etc...

And due to a flame I received for this fic on Whispers, I should add the warning that this story contains children who actually talk like real, live children! If that offends you, feel free not to read.

Okay, enough rambling, on with the story...

Chapter One - The Journey’s End

The mammoth white ocean liner cut through the water with clear precision. Its seven day transatlantic journey was coming to an end. The passengers, most of whom had been visiting the Statue of Liberty and the Empire State Building just a week before, were tired and anxious to arrive home. They gathered on the deck, where the first signs of land in the distance caused an excited stir to rise up from the travel-weary travelers.

As the crowd on the deck of the Silver Princess pushed and bumped its way into an uneven clump, a small boy with an untidy mop of fluffy brown hair weaved between their legs. “Coo me,” he said politely as he collided with a thick pair of hairy legs in gaudy Bermuda shorts. The little boy looked up to see a round, smiling man with a red face, very little hair and a brightly colored shirt.

“Certainly, young man,” said the jovial owner of the tacky ensemble as he stepped aside, allowing the child to reach his destination.

There it was in front of him; the sight he had been waiting for. The boy put his hands on the railing and peered out over the choppy ocean water. There was land ahead, in the distance; an enormous island lay out in front of him like a giant playground. He smiled and rested his chin on the lowest rung of the railing. Mommy had been so sad lately. Marka told him that when they arrived at their new home, mommy wouldn’t be sad anymore.

“Noah! NOAH! NOAH!” The woman’s voice grew more and more frantic as she pushed through the tight crowd, hindered by her bulky pregnant belly and the small girl she kept in tow. “NOAH! Has anyone seen a little boy, two years old? He has brown hair and a yellow shirt! NOAH!” She wore a long, purple and gold batiked maternity dress and her hair, the color of dark wheat bread, was pulled into a tight bun in the back of her head. She spoke with a muddled accent that gave off the slightest hint that she might be English in origin.

An elderly woman in a long, violet cloak grabbed her by the arm and pointed toward the railing. “Oh, bless your heart! He’s just so fast! Thank you, thank you so much!” The woman turned to run toward her son, but not before taking in the slight shock of the old woman winking at her.

“Noah!” she cried, gathering the boy up in her arms and clutching him awkwardly on the side of her belly. “Don’t you ever disappear on me like that again! You could have fallen right over the edge! Oh, my sweet boy!” She covered his chubby cheeks with wet kisses.

“Mommy, we go there?” He pointed toward the distant stretch of land.

“Yes, sweetie, we’re going there.”

“We almos’ home?”

The woman sniffed back a tear at the sound of the words. “Yes, Noah, I suppose we’re almost home. Come on now, Marka, let’s go back to our cabin and finish packing.” She turned away from the water and the far off London vista, slowly making her way back through the horde and off the deck.

The four year-old girl, dressed in salmon and plum striped slacks and a matching sleeveless top bounced happily on the bed. Her jet black pigtails flapping in the air like two floppy wings.

“Mommy, why do they make these cabins so small?”

“Because they need to fit a lot of them on the ship.”

“Mommy, why could we only bring one box of toys?”

“We are on a very long journey Marka, we didn’t have room for much.”

“How long have we been sailing?”

“Seven days.”

“Did we bring my green dress?”

“Yes.”

“And my turtle?”

“Yes.”

“And…and…and…Mommy?”

“WHAT Marka? Spit it out!”

The girl stared at her mother for a moment, looking betrayed. Her bottom lip poked out and began to quiver.

“I’m sorry, sweetie, I’m so sorry. Mummy has been…this has been…a very stressful trip. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped at you. Don’t cry, love.” She gathered the child in her arms, rocking her gently.

“Me watch Boos Coos! BOOS COOS!”

“Okay, Noah, I’ll put in your Blue’s Clues video one last time. We have to leave it on the ship, when it’s time to go, alright?”

“Boos Coos Boos Coos!”

“Mommy, why can’t we bring Blue’s Clues with us?”

“Because there won’t be electricity where we’re going.”

“But won’t it be dark? I don’t like the dark!” The bottom lip made a second appearance.

“No, no, honey, there are other ways to light a room. Like candles! And I promise, you won’t miss your Blue’s Clues videos at all! There are plenty of surprises where we’re going.”

“Will I miss Little Bear?” This made her mother laugh.

“No, I bet you won’t miss Little Bear, either.”

“Mommy, I miss Daddy.”

Pushing the video tape into the slot under the small television screen, her mother paused. She looked down thoughtfully at her pregnant belly and brought a hand over to rub the swell of it gently. “I miss him too, baby.” Her quiet words faded into the music of the show’s theme song. She sat on the bed and watched her children stare with rapt attention at the man in the green striped shirt.

‘If it was that easy,’ she thought, ‘I would keep them home, where they belong, where they are comfortable.’ Uprooting her children was not her choice, it was her necessity. There was nothing left for them at home. How many times now had she left a place because there was nothing left for her? ‘Twice,’ she thought, ‘Two times too many.’ Wrapping her arms around the swelling in her abdomen as it jumped and poked at her, she tried desperately to squelch the chill that was growing inside her heart.

She walked to the tiny bathroom, leaving the children to watch their video. Splashing her face with cold water, she looked up into the mirror. The last few months had not been kind and she looked much older than her twenty-six years. There were tiny lines peaking out from the corners of her eyes that probably would have crinkled with a smile, that is if she allowed a smile to reach her eyes these days. She pulled her frizzy brown hair to the back of her head, tilting it slightly so the three silvery strands on the right side of her temple caught the light and shimmered. She could easily have pulled them, as most women her age would have done with the occasional grey hair, but she chose to keep them, as reminders.

Taking a deep breath, she turned to the bed and, plastering a faux-cheerful grin on her face, announced, “Bedtime for little people! Come and brush your teeth.” The children hopped from the bed, probably too tired from the long journey to argue. Tomorrow morning they would reach their destination and tomorrow night she would return to the life she left eight years ago.

On to Chapter Two

Authors Notes: I thought I should just add that Steve Burns, formerly of Blue's Clues (the guy in the green striped shirt) is, unfortunately, not mine either.