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Consequences

by Arionrhod

"It's a nice place," Remus Lupin said, looking around the nearly bare flat, opening the cupboards in the kitchen and peering inside.

"Yeah, I was lucky it came open," Peter replied enthusiastically. "Only two blocks from the Ministry, and the grocer is just up the street. And a book store downstairs, too."

"Lucky you," the werewolf said, turning back to his friend and smiling. "It's quite a find. You're lucky not to be in some grotty little hole, as hard as places are to come by these days."

"Don't I know it." The animagus gave a nervous little laugh, his pale blue eyes suddenly sliding away from his friend. "Oh, come on, you have to see the rest, of it. The, er, best part."

"It gets better? I would have thought that being spacious and light, with decent appliances, a respectable view, and neighbors who aren't boozing it up was good enough," the sandy-haired wizard said smoothly, wondering at Peter's sudden twitchiness. It was probably just that Peter was afraid of not measuring up again, of having not made as good a decision after leaving school as the others. He had always seemed to have these competition issues with Sirius and James, and Remus felt bad for him. Peter was a good person, he needed to see that in himself and stop judging himself - or feeling like he was being judged - in comparison to his friends.

"Yes, much better," Peter responded, leading the way out of the kitchen. They passed through the roomy but sparsely furnished living room. "I know I need to get more furniture, I just figured I wouldn't spend much time or money on this room at first."

"Oh?" Remus blinked, then shrugged. "Looks like enough furniture to me. Once you put your stuff around it won't look so bare, you know. And a bookcase or two..."

Peter laughed, suddenly seeming to lose his nervousness. "You and your bookcases, Remus! Life for you isn't complete without books, is it?"

"Downright barren," his friend agreed.

They reached a closed door, and Peter paused, darting a quick look at Remus before turning the handle, and stepping inside.

Remus followed automatically... but just inside the door his paused, mouth dropping open in surprise.

The room - the bedroom, obviously, although he had guessed that even before they had entered - was decidedly not barren. It was, in fact, downright crowded, plush almost, and Remus gaped as his amber eyes took in the contents.

The walls were a soft, pale gold, a restful color that wasn't too dark or too light, but well suited to relaxation. A deep maroon rug, thick and soft, covered most of the wooden floor. It looked comfortable, as though it would be soothing on bare feet, pleasant to walk across or perhaps even curl up upon. Experimentally Remus stepped on it, feeling himself sink into it and giving a little unconscious sigh, suddenly desirous of removing his shoes and curling his toes into the surface. He heard Peter chuckle behind him, and shot his friend an unrepentant grin. Peter knew his little quirks, his liking of soft things against his skin. But this was about Peter, not him, and so Remus moved on with his inspection.

There were bookshelves lining one wall, most of them still empty, but with a decent collection of tomes already in evidence. They must be his schoolbooks, and some from his mum's house, Remus thought distantly. Wormtail hadn't been much of a reader at school, even though he was a good student, he just didn't have Remus' love of the printed word. It was quite a surprise, then, for Peter to have them, much less in the bedroom of all places.

Moving on, Remus looked at the two large armoires on the next wall, framing a large, sunny window with a deep windowseat. A plush red cushion was on the wooden platform, and several small pillows were tossed upon it. It looked incredibly inviting, a little cozy nook where one could curl up with a story and a cup of tea and while away hours in quiet enjoyment. Oh, how he envied Peter to have such a thing!

The next wall contained a desk of dark wood, not ornate but solid and servicible. And then, against the last wall, stood the bed.

It was a very large bed, Remus noted. A four poster, covered in a maroon spread which matched the carpet and drapes. The dark wood matched the armoires, and there were a myriad of pillows stacked on it as well. It looked almost decadent, and Remus was more than a bit surprised, but it was, after all, Peter's first place. He probably wanted to impress the girls.

Though it's odd I never realized Peter had such a thing for pillows, the werewolf thought with a slight smile. Turning to the other man, he nodded. "Very nice, Peter. Looks like you will be quite comfortable."

"Yes," the animagus replied. He looked at Remus closely, his pale blue eyes more intense than Remus could ever remember seeing them before. "You really like it, Moony? I mean, really?"

"Of course!" the werewolf replied reassuringly, patting his friend's shoulder. He wondered why Peter was so serious about this, why it seemed to matter what he thought. A question which was answered in short order.

"Good, that's good," Peter said. Then his face flushed pink. "I... I wanted you to like it, Remus. I, well... I was hoping... I mean... Um... whatdoyouthinkaboutmovinginwithme?"

The question was stated in a rush, and Remus blinked as he sorted out the words. "Live here, with you?" He paused for a moment. "That's such a nice offer Peter, but I don't want to crowd you and..."

"No, no!" Peter replied hurriedly. His cheeks had gone from pink to almost crimson. "I mean, you see... it wouldn't be crowded, you know."

"Oh?" Remus blinked again, then inclined his head. "But Peter, I didn't see a second bedroom, and big as this room is there isn't space for a second bed..."

His words were suddenly cut off, as Peter unexpectedly put his hands on Remus' shoulders, then pulled the werewolf towards him and pressed his lips to Remus' in an enthusiastic kiss.

Remus froze in complete shock, amber eyes wide. He wondered wildly what to do, when it was suddenly over, as quickly as it began, and Peter was staring at him, breathing hard and fast.

"Not a second bed," Peter said, voice surprisingly firm. "I want you in this bed. With me."

"I... I..." Now Remus was the one who was stammering and flushed. Never in a thousand years would he have guessed that Peter was attracted to him, the thought of it was so foreign to his view of their friendship that he was having an impossible time wrapping his mind around it.

"See, I decorated got this place with you in mind," the animagus was saying, face lit up with a beaming smile. "I knew you would love it, the window seat and all, and I put in the bookcases for you. You'll love it here, Remus, I promise. We'd have fun, we'd be good for each other. It was always you and I in the background, wasn't it? James and Sirius, they always had their fun and we had to hang back and be the ones to clean it up, to fix everything when they got out of hand. And I know that after almost getting Snape killed, that you and Sirius weren't together anymore, but... I waited. I waited until after graduation because I knew that if I said anything about being attracted to you, Sirius would interfere, just like he always did. But now we aren't at school, and I want... well... you, Remus. With me."

Amber eyes were round with shock during this explanation, but then Remus tried to pull himself together. "Peter, I... I never knew."

"That's okay, Moony," Peter said, nodding and smiling. "I really didn't want you to, because even if you had been the one to initiate anything, Sirius still would have interfered. He's good looking, and he's smart, but... he just wasn't right for you, Remus. He never appreciated you like I did, he didn't understand you, or he never would have..."

"Wait!" Remus exclaimed, face pale. "Peter... don't. Just... don't, please? You... you just don't understand, I'm so sorry, but... I can't, I just can't."

The smile faded slightly, but Peter continued on as though Remus hadn't spoken. "I know this is a surprise... but, well, think about it, okay? You probably just have to get used to the idea of us being lovers, right? We don't have to shag right away, Moony, not if you don't want to. We can just be here together, and you can get used to thinking of me that way. We've always gotten on well together, and I know that I think you are so attractive." Peter reached out, running his hand down Remus' cheek in a caress that was very tender.

But it was only through sheer willpower that Remus kept from flinching at the touch. He just didn't think of Peter that way, he couldn't. Unfortunately, Peter didn't seem to be getting the message.

Remus stepped back from his friend, shaking his head. "Peter. I appreciate the offer, I really do. But I never expected this, I never thought of you like that. It feels weird, I'm sorry, but I really need to go..."

"Won't you think about it?" Peter pleaded, catching Remus by the arm, blue eyes full of entreaty. "Don't say no now, it's just the surprise, I bet. Once you think it through you'll see how well we suit. Remus, please, I love you, you know..."

"NO!" Remus said, pulling his arm from Peter's grasp. It was a nightmare, and he didn't know how to escape this with their friendship still intact. It was because of that friendship, because of the respect and affection that he had for Peter that he couldn't lie to him, refused to lead him on in any way. "Peter, I'm sorry, but I can't, and I won't lie to you and say I'll think about it, because I can't. I'm so sorry..."

Turning, Remus fled the room, Peter following behind him. "Remus, wait! I'm sorry, it's me, right? Don't be mad, I'm sorry, but please, don't say no..."

At the entry to the flat Remus stopped, turning around, eyes full of pain. "I have to say no, Peter," he replied, voice low and soft. "I'm flattered, I am, but... I can't. Sirius... Sirius and I are back together, you see. I'm moving in with him next week. I'm so sorry, I never knew how you felt, but... well, even if I had, you're right, there was Sirius. Even with what he did, Peter... I love him. I've been in love with him since we were fourteen."

The two friends stared at each other, and Peter's eyes reflected the death of all his hopes. Remus' heart clenched in pain for the suffering his friend was going through, for he was far more familiar with the feeling of being betrayed by the one you loved than he would have liked to be. But there was no other solution, nothing he could do to make the situation better. And so he offered up the only words he could, knowing as he did so that it wouldn't make the slightest bit of difference. "I'm sorry, Peter."

With that, Remus walked out the door, closing it softly behind him.

Peter stared after the werewolf, face pale with disbelief. After all that he had done, after how long he had waited to tell Remus how he felt, it had all come to nothing. Sirius - careless, thoughtless, heartless Sirius - had been the one to win Remus after all. It wasn't fair, it absolutely wasn't fair that once again Sirius had everything that Peter wanted, and Peter was left with the empty feeling of being second best.

Pale blue eyes narrowed, and Peter's lips twisted. Sirius may have won this round, but Sirius had screwed up before and lost Remus. And if he had done it once, Sirius would do it again.

Peter would make certain of it.

FINIS